While trying to explain to our six-year-old daughter how much technology
had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and
told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of
power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, "How big was the mouse?"

--------

"I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable
to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not
pronouncing words correctly." - Brad Stine

--------

A grandfather bought a hobby horse by mail order as a birthday present
for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions
said that it could be put together in an hour. However it took the old
man two days to assemble the toy.

Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189
pieces and mailed it off to the company.

--------

One day, a father was reading his paper, when his son came in and said,
"Dad, will you take me to the zoo tomorrow?"

"No," said his father, "If they want you, they can come and get you."

----------

Tom had proposed to young Maureen and was being interviewed by his
prospective father-in-law. "Do you think you are earning enough to
support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.
"Yes, sir", replied Tom, "I'm sure I am."
"Think carefully now," said Maureen's father warningly. "There are twelve of us."

----------

hOked on fOniks WerKed fir me.

----------

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

----------

"Hello, Bob? It's your father again. I have another question about my new
computer. Can I tape a movie from cable TV then fax it from my VCR to my
CD-ROM then e-mail it to my brother's cellular phone so he can make a copy
on his neighbor's camcorder?"

----------

GOOD NEWS! Canada has offered to help the U.S. in the war on terrorism! They have pledged 2 battleships, 6000 troops and 10 fighter jets.
BAD NEWS! With the current exchange rate that comes out to 2 canoes, 6 Mounties and a couple of flying squirrels.

----------

"I once heard on the radio, that going to war without France was like going to war without an accordion."